Friday? Who Cares?

Today is Friday. That doesn't mean much to me. All my days are the same, except Saturdays and Sundays there are a few more people in the house. Well, not completely true, but close. Big T is home during the day right now. He was or is in the process of being laid off from his job. Just another bit of excitement to my life right now. Between Dad, Ty's graduation, Terry's job, my father-in-law and just the day to day life - I'm asking that question, "How much more can I stand?" T's Dad is having TIA's (mini-strokes) and it worries me that they are a precursor to something else. So, maybe God allowed Terry this time off so that he could spend more time with his Dad?

We are still dealing with cleaning out and sorting through the old house. I can't wait to get out from under the mortgage and utilities at that house. It would be a big relief for us. I cannot believe the amount of STUFF we have accumulated in 22 years. You could fit everything we need in the back of T's truck and haul 4 or 5 tractor trailer loads to goodwill and the dump of the things we don't need or haven't even seen in 2 years. Getting it done and sold will be a very happy day around here.

Poppa is on an up cycle right now. He has slept good for two nights, fed himself breakfast and LUNCH for two days and will answer simple questions. This disease is perplexing. You would think that if he was unable to feed himself for weeks then that ability was just lost, BUT NO! He might not pick up the spoon for 10 days and then suddenly one morning he's feeding himself not only his cereal, put picking up the cup to drink juice!?

His Boo Bear is still hanging around. He has not taken to it like I thought he would, but he doesn't oppose it being beside him in bed or on the table by his chair. He may just need more time for it to become familiar.

The research for the atomic testing that he participated in has kept me busy. He was in Nevada during the Buster Jangle series of tests. He was part of the troops who observed the Shot Dog that took place on November 1, 1951. It is very interesting and I wish I had asked him about his time in the military when he still rememebered.
So that's my advice today. If you have loved ones who are older - ask them questions, write down names, dates, adventures. Because things you don't think are important today, may mean the world to you tomorrow.
Be Kind and make good decisions!

Poppa and the Boo Bear

We recently finished watching the Alzheimer's Project that was on HBO - or should I say, I finished watching it. There was at least one segment that I would not let Mother watch. I thought it would be too hard for her to see the condition of some of the patients we were introduced to. Even though Poppa is as bad or worse than many of them, it was different being on the outside looking in. What I'm used to in my own home, was difficult to watch on TV. It was interesting to see how other people accept the condition of their loved one. Every emotion I saw, I have experienced - anger, confusion, fear, sorrow and wondering why. It also made me start to wonder about my future, my siblings future and my children's future. My Dad technically has vascular dementia with Alzheimer's - the vascular dementia is caused by damage to his brain from lack of blood/oxygen. He has a portion of his brain damaged that is about the size of a quarter that can been seen on a scan. So, we aren't in as much danger to inherit cognitive problems as most, but the possibility is still out there.

The thing that shocked me the most in the documentary was learning about two of the individuals professions. We always hear about how we are supposed to be exercising our brains as much as our bodies, which I think is true. But, it will not keep you from getting Alzheimer's. One of the women was a Physicist and one of the men helped develop the computer systems we use today. Highly intelligent, brain exercising people. The scientists have concluded that the best thing we can do for our brain is to take care of our body. If we are physically fit, our brain is more likely to be. I guess this means I need to get my lazy behind up and start moving more. It will be good for my brain and will probably keep me from having a relapse with my cancer.

I started something this week with Poppa that I'm hoping will work. He has a new friend. We call him Boo Bear. He is a bear that one of the grand kids had or someone gave Mom around Halloween one year and he has been sitting around. We are putting him in the bed with Dad and sitting him on the table beside his chair during the day. I thought it would be something he could get used to seeing - something familiar - and it's soft to the touch - something comforting...I am hoping that it will eventually be an item that will help calm or comfort him. This was a great tip I received from someone else who is caring for an AD parent. The community of caregivers is wonderful. What works for us, might work for someone else so it's worth sharing any ideas you have.

Time to start this Tuesday - Be kind and make good decisions.

He's still in there

Been a crazy couple of weeks here at the G-H house . My sis came up this past weekend to stay with Dad so that I could go to a basketball tourney with Leacie. It was nice to get away for a few days in a hotel where I was not expected to cook, clean, make a bed, change a diaper or feed anyone. There was a beautiful courtyard with sofas, tables, a fountain, a gas fireplace and big comfortable chairs that I sat on for 2 hours Saturday, all alone with a book in the warm sun. How absolutely relaxing and rejuvenating! I also laughed until I hurt. The "Basketball Moms" and I gossip and tell tales all weekend. It was so nice to talk to other Moms who are going through the same things with their daughters being teenagers and getting their perspectives, advice and warnings.

Apparently Dad was not doing well this weekend and it was difficult to move him from place to place. I hate not being here and my sis having to deal with everything, but I am learning that when I do get away, when I come back, I am more patient and have a renewed energy to handle situations.

He is doing much better today. I think we are battling allergies, because of the way he was weak this weekend, his runny nose and his eyes are swollen. I was talking to him at breakfast about his eyes and I told him they look pitiful all puffy, red and watery - He looks at me and says, "At least they still work." I laughed and thought - true. It is moments like these that I see my Dad is still in there. His quick wit and smart ass comments still surface. A full sentence with 5 words! He may not speak again for days, so I am going to cherish his smart statement. A good lesson - take every little thing he gives me and cling to it. Today it was 5 words, tomorrow it might be a smile, another day it might be a pat on my face. Hold everything you get dear.

Be kind and make good decions.

Cartoons and Ice Cream Sandwiches

A good day here at the G-H House. Got lots of laundry and a little housework done and Poppa was in a good mood. This afternoon I decided to sit down and watch the mid-day news with him and while I was surfing through the channels (well ya never know what else might be on more interesting than WLOS Noon News) I landed on Cartoon Network right as the phone rang. I got up answered it and handled whatever the caller wanted and when I sat back down I noticed Poppa was grinning?? He was watching Tom and Jerry. This man who has not cared about TV for almost two years was grinning at Tom chasing Jerry and the misery this little mouse was putting the cat through. I went and got him an ice cream sandwich to eat and he watched the whole time. After he was done with the ice cream, I left the show on and sat watching him until he closed his eyes and went to sleep about 15 minutes later. Amazing. So, I'm going to try it again tomorrow. Let's see if the colors, noise and sound effects hold his attention again. I'll let ya know.

When I was putting him to bed, I was oohing and ahing over him and he was just staring into my eyes and I talked about his pretty blue eyes - I then asked him what color Granny Martha's (his Mom) eyes were and he thought for a moment and said, "I think green." Now, I am sad to say, I don't remember. Maybe that's where I got my green eyes from or maybe he was just saying green because of me. I'll have to ask Mom. It made me think though, I am the only one in the family with green eyes. Tre, Rob and S all have blue eyes. Mom has greenish blue eyes and Lea has brown eyes and Bo's eyes are goldish/amber colored. Hm...

Talked to the local Alzheimer's Association today to see about getting some respite care from time to time. Trying to get around the fact that we are all living together so that Mom will qualify for someone to come in from time to time. Hey maybe she and I could go to the movies in the middle of the day or have a mani/pedi or heck she go her way and I go mine. I have my kids to get me out of the house for basketball games, functions at school, etc. The only time my Mother leaves this house is to go to the doctor, grocery store and Target. AND that's the way it's been for over 4 years. I would be in a padded cell, heavily medicated if that were me. Which on some days doesn't sound too bad! LOL!

Time for the kids and I to cuddle up and watch Ghost Hunters.

Be kind and make good decisions.

Mar

Another Day Another Post

Good Morning! After reading my last post I realized I probably should wait 8 hours after anything traumatic happens around here BEFORE I start blogging...what an emotional wreck I was that night. What we go through for and with our kids.

My sister came to stay with Mom and Dad the weekend of the 20th and my brother helped out this past weekend so that I could go to Leacie's basketball in GBO and Wilkesboro. It was the first time since Dad has gotten so hard to move and being the control freak I am, I left them pages with our daily schedule and instructions. I was so afraid he or she might be insulted but hopefully it made things easier. Both weekends seemed to have gone really well, and I know Mom enjoyed having someone besides me to talk to. When I got home last night, I just loved all over him. It felt like I had been gone weeks instead of days. I understand what my sister sees when she visits. Just being gone two days made me realize how frail he is. I was so touchy and gooey, I think I scared him a little!

Dad is in a grunting, moaning, puffing, sucking his teeth mode today. It is a one of the symptoms of his vascular dementia/alzheimer's that bothers me. He can get extremely loud and at times it can go on for hours. Just listening makes my throat hurt and exhausts me. When I talk to other caregivers, the noises and bathroom issues are the big ones people want ideas to cope with. We gave him trazadone last night because he was wild eyed and nervous which kind of puts him out of it the next day.

Last week I was able to take part of a day that was just for ME. When I left my job last April, the owners gave me a gift certificate to a spa. I went last Thursday and had a facial, massage and manicure - HEAVEN. Now, if I could only figure out how to afford it once a month...hm....

Please continue all your prayers, good thoughts and emails - I appreciate it more than you know.

Cantankerous Rainy Days

Woke up tired, which is not a good sign and when I went to get Dad out of the bed he cussed me and told me to go away...What a way to start the day, huh? So, I put on my preschool teacher voice and face and talked him out of the bed and into the bathroom. He keeps trying to find someone to be mad at all day. Mom was bragging on his pretty blue eyes and he told her to go away and quit making fun of him. I was moving him from the wheelchair and he yelled at me that he couldn't carry me and him. Mom and I laugh and then he gets even more mad. It makes for a difficult day when everything is a fight -

BUT, he is cussing, yelling, and fussing at us, which means...he's speaking. Days like today you have to watch him like a hawk. He'll take off his oxygen, won't leave on the mask for his nebulizer treatment and he's likely to spit out any meds when you turn your back. He is definitely is in his terrible twos today.

So, pray for patience and that we can keep laughing over top of his head at each other. Because according to him, "He didn't ask for this s**t!"

Spring Forward

Such a beautiful warm spring day and I am sitting here still in my pajamas on the computer. I was up last night until after 1am waiting on Bo to come home. He's a great kid and wasn't out doing what I probably would have been doing at 18 - but I can't sleep until he's home safe. Did anyone else's Mom used to say that? The Ayatollah Ole Meanie used to say that to me all the time and I would think, "well that's stupid"...now I'm saying it.

Poppa is not having a good day. No talking, no eyes open, drooling, snoring and grunting. I thought he might be running a low grade fever last night, but today it is normal. I made/encouraged him to walk from breakfast and to and from lunch, but I had to keep reminding him to open his eyes and lift his feet. Days like today, I thank God for the gait belt. There is no way I could manage moving him from place to place without it. He won't be walking anymore today, except moving from chair to wheelchair, wheelchair to bed etc. He is having such bad spasms he can't stand up without assistance. He cannot follow simple directions. His body and brain have shut down today. Nothing in, nothing out. This usually means, he has either been over stimulated (not lately) or his body is fighting something. We will keep a close eye for any symptoms that may show themselves.

Going to try to motivate myself to shower, dress and maybe go for a walk with the poodle.

I love you

Today Poppa told me he loved me. I also heard him tell Mom he loved her as well. I cried both times. He was in a "panic" mood today. These are the days he sits around wild eyed, watching us very carefully like he's trying to figure out who we are or where he's at. These are the days that are hardest on me. The days he's sick are difficult, but the days he's scared - those are the worst. I can't stand the thought of him being scared. These are days Mom and I are quiet and spend alot of time touching him and looking him in the eyes. These are the days I Hate. So, in the midst of all this fear, he looked at me and said, "I love you." I pray for him to sleep tonight. He usually tosses, turns and grunts all night after a panic mood day. I moved the head of his hospital bed closer to Mom's bed so that she could reach out and touch him during the night. He doesn't understand why they are sleeping in seperate beds for the first time in 57 years. He asked her last night if she could get in bed with him.
Don't take what I am about to say wrong, but often times I wonder, why is he still here? There's got to be a purpose/reason/explanation AND will I ever know it? So, I just take everyday and enjoy it and days like today when he looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes and says, "I love you" I don't care why he's here. I'm just glad he is.