Magnolia Tree

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend! The Griffin-Holland house was filled with so much laughter, love and food. We had 21 family members here and it was beautiful.

I usually dread Easter. It is the most important holiday, but it seems that for the last 5 years or so, something unpleasant has happened around Easter. It all started 5 years ago when on Easter Monday we took Dad to Mission because he was so confused and just not doing well. That's when he was diagnosed. He spent days in the hospital having tests and no one really being able to tell us what was going on. Other years he or one of the kids have been sick or some other catastrophe causing a gloom over this holiest of holidays. I am always apprehensive from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday.

This year was different. Not perfect, but pretty darn close.

Easter morning I woke up in the dark to get Leacie up and ready to go to sunrise service with Robert. After they were out the door, late as usual, I sat watching the sun rise over the mountain. The color show put on by Mother Nature could never be copied by anything unnatural. The dark turned to gray, then to pink, then to green. We have a Magnolia tree in our backyard - and I swear to you it did not have 10 blooms on it Saturday - yet Sunday as the sun was rising, I realized the whole tree was covered blooms. Absolutely gorgeous!

The kids all played and laughed together - they rode Robert's horse, played basketball in the driveway and texted each other across the room - we had communion together - we prayed for forgiveness as well as thanksgiving for the many blessings we have.

Dad ate until he should've been sick, he was alert at times watching the kids play and we all got to kiss his adorable bald head and tell him we love him.

It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn close.

Be kind and make good decisions.

Seperation Anxiety

It's been a busy surreal couple of weeks at the G-H House. I went to college orientation with Bo last week. God help me come the third week in August, one moving into a dorm and the other starting high school. I may be medicated for about a month! Are you kidding me? They had us drop our student off at the dorm (he had to stay on campus, I stayed at the Hampton Inn) to check in - and I mean drop off. I drove up he got out and they waved me on. Well, people, I cried as he walked in! I would see him in 15 minutes across campus for the opening session and I CRIED! He's in Hilton Head with our church this week (just until Saturday) and you would think he's touring Europe for the next 8 weeks...I am a wreck. Part of the reason is LeaLea has stayed with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law for the past few nights so I don't have her to smother. I hope I get a grip on things before he leaves for real....

On top of that, Dad is sick. It is just a cold - mild fever, cough, congestion, but he looks and feels horrible. At this stage in his disease, even allergies can mean a hospital visit, so we are hydrating, saline up the nose and trying to keep him cool as possible in this heat wave. I looked at him tonight and the reality that he might not have much time here with us really hit me. He is beginning to look like the people at the end I've seen in the books and films about AD. Now, don't read too much into that, tomorrow he may be his shiny self or what has become his shiny self, but tonight he truly looks frail.

If I step back, I think Dad's weakness is part of the reason I am clinging to the kids so much lately. That scares me. It's like after 911. Every Mother I knew kept her kids in her sight for weeks. If something goes wrong I want them within arms length so I can grab them.

I usually have a pretty good outlook about Dad and his illness, but with so much change happening around here with the kids, Big T's job, trying to sell our house - I think I've used up all my positive attitude. I am ready for a big ole pity party. Bring on the wine and whine!

So, I am going to stop before I get really ugly...and try to
Be kind and make good decisions.

Mar

Friday? Who Cares?

Today is Friday. That doesn't mean much to me. All my days are the same, except Saturdays and Sundays there are a few more people in the house. Well, not completely true, but close. Big T is home during the day right now. He was or is in the process of being laid off from his job. Just another bit of excitement to my life right now. Between Dad, Ty's graduation, Terry's job, my father-in-law and just the day to day life - I'm asking that question, "How much more can I stand?" T's Dad is having TIA's (mini-strokes) and it worries me that they are a precursor to something else. So, maybe God allowed Terry this time off so that he could spend more time with his Dad?

We are still dealing with cleaning out and sorting through the old house. I can't wait to get out from under the mortgage and utilities at that house. It would be a big relief for us. I cannot believe the amount of STUFF we have accumulated in 22 years. You could fit everything we need in the back of T's truck and haul 4 or 5 tractor trailer loads to goodwill and the dump of the things we don't need or haven't even seen in 2 years. Getting it done and sold will be a very happy day around here.

Poppa is on an up cycle right now. He has slept good for two nights, fed himself breakfast and LUNCH for two days and will answer simple questions. This disease is perplexing. You would think that if he was unable to feed himself for weeks then that ability was just lost, BUT NO! He might not pick up the spoon for 10 days and then suddenly one morning he's feeding himself not only his cereal, put picking up the cup to drink juice!?

His Boo Bear is still hanging around. He has not taken to it like I thought he would, but he doesn't oppose it being beside him in bed or on the table by his chair. He may just need more time for it to become familiar.

The research for the atomic testing that he participated in has kept me busy. He was in Nevada during the Buster Jangle series of tests. He was part of the troops who observed the Shot Dog that took place on November 1, 1951. It is very interesting and I wish I had asked him about his time in the military when he still rememebered.
So that's my advice today. If you have loved ones who are older - ask them questions, write down names, dates, adventures. Because things you don't think are important today, may mean the world to you tomorrow.
Be Kind and make good decisions!