Leacie and DanDaddy

Dad is really weak today and making faces like he is in alot of pain. This morning when I asked him if he was hurting, he pointed at his head. This afternoon he pointed at his side when Mom asked him. So hard to know if he really understands and/or where he is hurting. We don't take any chances and give him Acetominophen every 6 to 8 hours anyway.



When Leacie decided to get out of bed (around noon) she came in and hugged and kissed him and told him she loved him. She sits on the arm of his chair and gets right in his face and oo's and ah's over him. He patted her and said, "You're a good girl." Well, I lost it and started crying, made Mom and Leacie cry also.

One of those beautiful moments that I hope she tucks away and remembers forever.

Be kind and make good decisions.

One Week Gone

Last week we were in Orlando for 14U AAU Girls Basketball National Tournament. It is the first full week I have been away from Mom and Dad since last years National Tournament. Leacie's team finished 4th in their bracket and 24th in the Nation - not bad for a short team with major players injured.

It was difficult for me to leave home - my oldest brother took the week off from work to help Mom out, but being the control freak I am, it was not easy to relax and not worry about things. I worry about Mom in these situations more than Dad. There are so many things I do daily/weekly that I don't think about and knowing Mother she just does everything without asking anyone else to help out. She thinks it's easier just to do it herself than show or ask someone else to do it. (I am so guilty of that myself.)

I can't say I relaxed and enjoyed the week, but it was nice to sleep a little late and to spend time with my Ty and Leacie.

Seeing Dad when I got back made me realize, he is going downhill fast. I can't pinpoint anything specific, he is just weaker and less alert. When I would call home Mom was very positive and "UP", but the more "UP" she is, the more you know she's trying to make you feel better. 4th of July is one of the hardest holidays for Mom. Dad loved the 4th. It was a holiday spent with family, friends and music in the Beech Community.

Communication with Dad is getting more difficult every day. He does not understand simple commands and is unable to respond. The tone of voice and hand signals seem to get through more than the words. The biggest lesson I've learned lately is to give him time to process what I say to him.

Everyday is an adventure!

Be kind and make good decisions -

Magnolia Tree

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend! The Griffin-Holland house was filled with so much laughter, love and food. We had 21 family members here and it was beautiful.

I usually dread Easter. It is the most important holiday, but it seems that for the last 5 years or so, something unpleasant has happened around Easter. It all started 5 years ago when on Easter Monday we took Dad to Mission because he was so confused and just not doing well. That's when he was diagnosed. He spent days in the hospital having tests and no one really being able to tell us what was going on. Other years he or one of the kids have been sick or some other catastrophe causing a gloom over this holiest of holidays. I am always apprehensive from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday.

This year was different. Not perfect, but pretty darn close.

Easter morning I woke up in the dark to get Leacie up and ready to go to sunrise service with Robert. After they were out the door, late as usual, I sat watching the sun rise over the mountain. The color show put on by Mother Nature could never be copied by anything unnatural. The dark turned to gray, then to pink, then to green. We have a Magnolia tree in our backyard - and I swear to you it did not have 10 blooms on it Saturday - yet Sunday as the sun was rising, I realized the whole tree was covered blooms. Absolutely gorgeous!

The kids all played and laughed together - they rode Robert's horse, played basketball in the driveway and texted each other across the room - we had communion together - we prayed for forgiveness as well as thanksgiving for the many blessings we have.

Dad ate until he should've been sick, he was alert at times watching the kids play and we all got to kiss his adorable bald head and tell him we love him.

It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn close.

Be kind and make good decisions.

Groundhog Day

I admit that I have stolen the name of the blog today. While catching up on other people's blogs, another daughter taking care of her Father compared her life to the movie "Groundhog Day" and by golly that is my life.

5:30am Wake up for Martha. This is sometimes the only time of day I am alone. My desire is to take the time to be quiet and plan my day, make an effort to start in a good place before getting Dad up. Frequently it is spent packing Leacie's lunch, folding towels washed the night before, unloading the dishwasher, making Dad's cereal, thickening Dad's juice, etc.

7:00am Wake up Poppa. This means physically getting him out of bed, into the shower, washing, dressing and taking him to the kitchen for breakfast. (Caregivers-the PT found me a must have item. Dad is still able to stand with assistance but it is difficult to turn him to sit into the wheelchair-TA DA!-a lazy susan made just for that. I put it on the floor beside his bed and stand him up on it, then turn him around to the wheelchair to sit. A BACK SAVER!)

8:30am Breakfast - Notice it takes 1 1/2 hours to complete the bathing, dressing routine. Occasionaly, Dad will feed himself, but like everything else, that is getting less frequent. (Caregivers-because of all the medication he needs alot of bran. Here's a great recipe we make up in a Tupperware type container and store in fridge.

2 cups Bran cereal

2 cups Apple sauce

2 sm cans Prune Juice

Cinnamon, Sugar and Vanilla to taste

He loves it and it works)

9:30am Poppa's teeth, shave and on good days we walks to his chair. I say walk, but it involves the walker, gait belt and lots of encouragement.

10am Martha feels like she's done a full day of work.....

You get the idea. It is important for him to get up at the same time, eat at the same time, etc. I truly believe that he is still alive because we get him up and bathe him everyday. Even the days he cannot stand or move on his own, we pick him up and carry him around. Every three hours we get him up out of his chair and change him. He gets talked to and petted. I rub lotion on his back so he won't get bed sores, we spray saline in his nose to keep the oxygen from drying him out so bad, we offer him fluids every 45 minutes to keep him from getting dehydrated. He's fed vegetables and fruit, given breathing treatments and medication. I tell him all the time how spoiled he is.

My own personal "Groundhog Day" over and over......

Remember Be Kind and make good decision!

4 Months of Info

Has it really been 5 months since I updated the blog? I have some good excuses, but what it boils down to is that somedays I feel like the same thing happens over and over and there is no reason to keep saying it out loud or in the blog. There have been alot of out of the ordinary as well. Quick update: Mom had hip replacement ( yes, that means she and Dad both were down for a few weeks), but she has recovered and is the energizer bunny again. Bo started and completed his first semester at Appalachian State - he loves it. LeaLea started high school and is playing Junior Varsity Basketball - she is the team high scorer (and I must say, THE BEST). Big T is still taking care of his Mom and Dad (not working). Abbie started Kindergarten - and is thriving. We sold our house - whew. My 6 month mammogram came back clear. hm....I think that about covers all the big news.

Dad is still holding his own. Good days, bad days. Mom was able to get a grant through the Alzheimer's Association and has someone coming in 1 day a week for 4 hours. This gives her a chance to get out. Although I have to say, I think she has used it to Christmas shop, grocery shop and doctor's visits. we need to get her out enjoying herself.

Some days are an uphill battle. It's funny how the big things are easier to handle and something small happens and I fall apart. I've said it before, some days I get it right, some days I don't. Most days I just try to make it through the day without crying or fighting back the tears.

Be kind and make good decisions.

81st Birthday

We have been in full on party mode here at the G-H house this week. Daddy turned 81 today, but we have been celebrating since Friday. His sister and brother-in-law came to see him and Leacie started his birthday cake on Friday. He LOVES ice cream, so she and Mom made him an ice cream cake. It takes 3 days to finish because she has to make it 1 layer at a time. Ice Cream, fudge, ice cream, caramel, crushed up oreos, whipped cream, maraschino cherries (alot of things we all shouldn't be eating) - somewhere Mom heard it called a "better than sex cake". Believe me, it was worth every calorie and belly ache we had. On Sunday, we had a big lunch and sang, "Happy Birthday!" and had his cake. This year he is totally unaware it is his birthday. He would smile sometimes and shake his head, but for the most part he would just give that blank stare like we are all speaking a language he doesn't understand. He is getting less vocal everyday. Saturday he was weak and slept alot (days and nights are mixed up again). Terry helped Mom change him once and he just slumped in Terry's arms and wouldn't stand up. On Sunday he was a little stronger, but would not feed himself breakfast or lunch. Mom an I took turns feeding him while he watched and listened to all the grandchildren around him. He wouldn't hold the spoon or anything UNTIL...

Leacie put the cake in front of him and we all started singing "Happy Birthday", well that stinker reached over and stole Robert's fork and was holding it like he was waiting on the kids to finish and then he was going to dive in! We all laughed and laughed! So now, we have our story for Daddy's 81st Birthday!

Be kind and make good decisions!

Folk Festivals and Memories

This weekend is the Mountain Dance and Folk Festival. If you grew up in WNC, you've probably heard of or been to this at least once in your life. Me, I've been many many times - but most of my memories are of meeting at the Westgate parking lot AFTERWARDS, everyone jamming together, taking a little nip out of bottle into the wee hours of the morning. We also were at the Mountain Youth Jamborees, Bascom Lamar Lunsford Festivals at Mars Hill, Fling Dings and of course the Shin Dig on the Green. My Dad and brothers played at Mountain Winderness camp ground in Burnsville on weekends during the summer, every holiday has a soundtrack...I was lucky to grow up in house filled with music. Bluegrass to Classical to Rock to Pop to Folk, we had it all.

When I think of my Dad's life the two things that stand out besides family are his military service and his music. I wish he could enjoy the Folk Festival just one more time....

Be kind and make good decisions.